How to Be More Confident in 2022Dec 27, 2021
While confidence may be tricky to define accurately, we all know it when we see it. It is attractive and makes the individual look and feels strong, independent, and bold. It makes people want to follow you and trust you. It's a quality we all want, but it can be hard to attain and even harder to keep. There's so much that wars against our confidence. Self-doubt, accusation, and failure will make us feel anything but sure and confident.
What is Confidence & Where it Comes From
The best way to define confidence is in terms of how it makes you think, feel, and behave. Then, confidence is synonymous with self-acceptance and self-trust and is marked by a strong sense of control in your life. Confident people know their strengths and weaknesses and have an overall positive view of themselves. Confidence is further displayed in assertive (not aggressive) speech and body language.
Additionally, a confident person:
- Takes risks
- Can accept compliments
- Can accept criticism
- Admits mistakes and learns from them
- Willing to stand alone if necessary
- Is optimistic
It's possible to be confident in one area of your life and lack it completely in another area. So a person who knows you in one aspect of your life might find you unrecognizable in another.
Where it Comes From
It's important to note that a confident person isn't necessarily more successful. In other words, a confident person experiences no fewer failures or mistakes than a less confident person. Confidence develops based on how people view themselves and their lives.
Confidence can grow as you build a case for yourself with evidence that you are capable and trustworthy. This evidence is, of course, your responses to the events of your life and how you choose to interpret them.
Finally, confidence isn't a personality type. A shy introvert may be just as confident as their louder counterpart. And a person who is brash and assertive isn't necessarily more confident.
Why is it Important
Confidence affects every area of your life. It is vital to your mental and emotional health, as well as your progression in life and work. Here are some reasons why confidence is so important to you:
- Confidence helps you make better decisions. Not only do you feel better about your decision-making, but you know you can handle the consequences of your choices.
- Confidence earns you more respect from others. People admire confidence and are more likely to follow a confident person.
- Confidence means less fear and anxiety. When you trust yourself and your ability to handle crises, you are less afraid.
- Confidence is linked to self-esteem. They aren't the same thing, but a person who knows their abilities can build more positive feelings about themselves.
- Confidence makes you more resilient. People who have a strong sense of self and trust are more apt at rebounding after losses.
- Confidence means better relationships. A major buzz-kill in relationships is people who feel dependent on their partner from constant encouragement, assurance, and approval. But confident people come with their own supply of assurance. The relationship can then be about two people, not just one.
Why Confidence Bottoms Out
The reasons that some people have difficulty building confidence or holding onto it are varied. Although we like to think that other people's opinions or actions aren't a factor in our lives, it isn't true. We are social animals. Our inherent need to connect with others means that what they do matters to us.
Here are a few reasons you may not have confidence:
- From your childhood, people have been overly critical or reprimanding.
- You have a fear of rejection.
- You have suffered bullying, harassment, or humiliation repeatedly.
The above may be things you have experienced in your childhood or as an adult, but they affect how you feel about yourself and how you present yourself to the world.
How to Be More Confident in 2022
While confidence may seem elusive, it is attainable. Following are tips and advice for ways to build your confidence:
Figure Out Why You're Low in Confidence
If you can figure out why you're low in confidence, you can plug the hole. Above we listed some of the reasons you may lack confidence, and you can probably add more things to that list. Examine your feelings and self-talk to find out where your issues are and begin the work of fixing them.
Are you a physician who needs a wellness professional to help you stop being a people pleaser? We're here for you. Contact Deanna Larson MD to learn more.
Make New Goals
Confidence grows with accomplishment. To build self-trust and self-esteem, set some goals and the steps to achieve them. The goals don't have to be big or extravagant, just enough to build your confidence in yourself for achieving them. Consider making daily goals, then weekly, monthly, and finally, long-term goals. Celebrate every achievement and allow it to transform the way you see yourself.
Think of What You've Already Accomplished
When your confidence is low, you can begin to minimize or discount all of your previous achievements. So, make a list of things you have accomplished - the big and small things. Recognize that all of it shows that you are a capable person and deserving of confidence.
Align With Yourself
Being true to yourself is a huge confidence booster. So many of your goals and aims have more to do with other people's expectations and cultural norms. The next time you find yourself saying that you 'should' do something, ask yourself why. You may find out that you're beating yourself up for not achieving things you don't actually want. Figure out what you really want for your life and work, and make those things your goals.
Start Small to Re-Build Self-Trust
Don't expect massive change overnight. It will take time to build confidence in yourself. One way to start is to make small promises to yourself - and keep those promises. Don't go overboard. The idea is to build self-trust by doing what you have promised yourself, but if you set aims that are too high, you won't be able to meet your own expectations. Stretch yourself, but be reasonable and realistic.
Take on a Growth Mindset
A growth mindset means you know that you will always grow and learn new things. You aren't limited in any regard. You are always capable of growth and improvement. This mindset is essential to increasing your self-confidence.
A fixed mindset makes you believe just the opposite - that you are a failure because you aren't capable, and you never will be!
Remember that whoever you are today, you don't have to remain. You can expand your capabilities and resources to become whoever you want to be.
Change the Self Talk
It is difficult to believe in yourself if your inner talk is harsh and negative. The criticisms and reprimands you've heard from others soon become your inner voice. It may take you some time to realize how much negative self-talk you are enduring and how much it affects your beliefs.
To overcome this, challenge your inner critic and those negative self-limiting beliefs. Start saying more positive things to yourself, even if you initially don't believe them. Eventually, you will.
Be Prepared for Failure
You may feel a little fragile as you build your confidence, but you're stronger than you think. As much as you try not to, you will fail again. You will make mistakes and get things wrong. Prepare yourself for this by remembering that failure happens to everyone. It doesn't mean that you can't trust yourself or that you aren't a capable person who has every reason to feel confident. Confidence isn't just about your achievements; it's also about your internal resources. So whether things go well or don't, you can still be confident.
Get Professional Help
You may need help building your confidence. A knowledgeable and informed professional can help you process through all the things blocking you. As a physician, a Burnout Coach like Deanna Larson, MD, can partner with you in a thought-provoking, creative process that will inspire you to maximize your personal and professional potential.
A coach who understands the medical field and your unique stressors can help you find a way to fulfillment and happiness that works for you.
The Bottom Line
Confidence is more than big smiles and loud talking. It means knowing yourself and what amazing things you can do. Despite trauma, failure, and rejection, you can still believe in yourself and enjoy great success.
If you’re a physician who is trying to build your self-confidence while experiencing stress and burnout, we can help. Our life coaching is especially for physicians and we will assist you in finding joy and fulfillment again. Contact Deanna Larson MD for more information.
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